Birthdays and such...

There are so many things that have filled our lives lately... Tayven turned 6 and Dax turned 4! At this stage of life, it seems more fulfilling to celebrate their birthdays then our own. I had a nice talk with each of them about how much I love them... and what I felt the day they were born. They were both very engaged in the conversation and enjoyed hearing about themselves. I know, I'll be a total goober mom if I do that every year, but for now, it was pretty cute to hear their questions. We are loving Tayven's life questions and creative energy as he makes up new games, trys out sarcasm on us, makes signs for our front door, writes books etc. Lately with Dax I've had some awesome conversations where he drills me with questions. Most recently, he dissected the praise song "Jesus Thank You" and wanted to know what each word meant. As I explained to Dax what the words "wrath, satisfied & enemy" meant... and what it meant to "sit at His table", I found myself sharing the gospel with him in a way that captivated him more than ever. I can get a little weepy now thinking of the glimpse of hope and interest in our Savior that Dax may have. Harper keeps busy following his brothers around being suuuper crazy cute one minute and a total punk the next... you know that stage? I can't imagine life without these boys.

We also had our friends, the Jensens, from Ecuador come visit us. We really miss them! We spent 11 New Years with them up in Lake Almanor, including our engagement... and now they're our missionary friends home from Ecuador. Crazy how life brings changes.


Tayven getting his birthday hat at Chevy's


Dax loving his cheddar cheese bagel from Flour Garden on his birthday


Harper next to Macoy, and Dax next to Hadley. They came to celebrate- such awesome friends!


Dax, Nick Jensen, Tayven and Harper

Kings Beach in Tahoe

This was a trip we took the last week before school started and it was sooo much fun! We relaxed, ate tons, and played on the sand all day long. I put a few pictures up that highlight the Deneui family since I know many people wish they had a blog. I still feel a little depressed about school being back in... but when I see these pictures I feel so thankful that I had this week with my family. Yep, there's my nice generic family vacation paragraph :)



Dax with a split lip and Harper in the bike trailer.


I think I took at least 20 pictures of Tayven with Taylor Deneui- they were cute buddies


Harper with Josh

First day of 1st Grade!

Oooh this picture makes me smile. I've had way too much fun with these little guys this summer... and can't believe my first born is now in first grade! I feel like the total goober mom for crying again this year about dropping him off at school. Last year I had a full blown whale/bawl session in the car on the way home... but at least this time I was able to stick with the more feminine style tear up. Life is happening so fast! As a mom it almost feels like you go through life a second time as you watch your child... and it's so weird to be on this side of it. I totally remember my first grade teacher and how excited I was. I loved watching Tayven wave to us with an anticipation and excitement about what was ahead. I will continue to pray and plead with the Lord to protect his little heart... and draw Tayven to Himself.

summer fun

This is been one busy summer for us with me teaching swim lessons again. We've managed to really enjoy family time and are sadly counting down the days until school starts. We got a hot tub from some friends who have a spa business... and that has provided some of the greatest families times and conversations. We also took a spontaneous camping trip to Tahoe where we hiked, biked, and I even taught Tayven 5 new card games. The last picture is a few days ago when the boys decided that helping me clean sounded fun... for a couple hours! It was a definitely a kiss from heaven... and so much fun. I love my little cuties!




Tahoe Trip!


Harper chomping on chips


Tayven loves cards


This picture is not posed. My boys are obsessed with clorox wipes :)
I know it wont last

In the summertime!

Tayven graduating from Kindergarten, friends coming over, and a week with cousins are some of the fun things we've done this summer...

Tagged (i gave in)

ok ok so I haven't been in love with the idea of promoting myself in this "tagged" thing... but in all honesty I've loved reading the quirks from everyone else. In fact, several of you people have made me laugh out loud. I'm pretty sure my quirks are much less interesting but to avoid being called a "party pooper" or "too cool" any longer, I'm gonna give it a shot... don't fall asleep.

Here are the rules:
Mention the rules on your blog.
Tell about six unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag six bloggers by linking them.

1. Not sure how to word this one appropriately... but if someone "passes gas" anywhere near me when I am drinking water, I will immediately cover my water glass. I have this instant fear that the odor will seep into my drink and ruin the taste forever. Those who know me best have probably witnessed this... its definitely become a quirk for me.


2. I don't like having cold feet at night... and sometimes I can act a little O.C.D. about getting a pair of socks on my feet. One time when on a trip, I bugged everyone who was trying to sleep as I pilfered through my bag looking for some cozy socks. It's a mental thing, I'm sure.

3. I like hot drinks (coffees) extra hot. If I don't order it "extra hot" it wont last me more than 5 minutes before I pretty much wanna throw it away. Wow, I sound snobby. haha, its just the truth, I no longer enjoy it if it's not real hot. Julie pointed this out to me the other day... thanks.

4. When it comes to a job (teaching, coaching soccer, teaching swim lessons) I can be really organized and want things done a specific way. I spend a lot of time thoroughly preparing and can border on seeming like a perfectionist. At the same time, I am that girl that can be totally scatter brained and not know where her keys are for 10 minutes...

5. I have this issue with misspelled words. I notice them a lot when other people do it and I have a hard time not pointing it out. Is that a quirk? One time my friend wrote the word "tomorrow" wrong about 10 times before I finally said something. She wrote "tomarrow" and after a day of prayer, I got the courage to let her know her issue. Ok... maybe not prayer but we had a good laugh. Wow, I'm boring even myself with this post, sorry everyone. haha. The funny thing is, I'll probublee spellde sevrall wurds wrong on dis post, wright?

6. I can't think of anymore. I know have a million more. Feel free to tell me what you think my quirks are... and honestly... if you've made it this far I'll give you five bucks

I am gonna tag....

Jamie Hill
Wendy Penburthy
Nicole Pickard (she's been tagged tons like me and has avoided it)
Sara Molton (don't know if she'll see this?)
Christina Leaman (awesome blog writer)
Chrisy Myers (do you ever get online?)

Limo ride!

At Tayven's school they have a reading program with many prizes to motivate the students. There were many prizes along the way throughout the school year... but the final prize after reading 15,000 pages was a limo ride to Round Table Pizza! Tayven couldn't have been more extactic about this event, as I am sure you can imagine. The night before he couldn't sleep... he came in to tell us, "ummm tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life". haha! It was pretty close, I must say! He enjoyed this event with his buddy Drew making it that much more amazing ;)

Feeling Lost

I was going to write this email to my friend Sara today but decided to write it here... thinking that maybe someone else is battling and growing in a similar way. I'm not "gifted at" being vulnerable on a blog but my heart is heavy today.

She and I had a great conversation this morning about how lost we often feel in life. How do you balance out what God has for you each day? How much time should we spend investing in our children... and how do we balance that out with time spent pouring into the lives of unbelievers in our neighborhood and communities? How radical should we be about these things? Or is it... that we are to be open and ready for what God does bring in our lives each day? Who knows what will happen when I go to the store, or a wedding or to the park. Am I ready with a humble heart for what may come? Am I soft and open to what God may put in my path? Whether that be a teaching opportunity with my children or an amazing conversation with someone I meet at the park... OR... is it how I respond to seemingly tragic situations? It seems that every day lately I am hearing stories of "awful" situations- death, chronic illness, natural disasters, loss of children, health issues... disappointments all around... even in my life. Yet I know God is behind all of this and in His holy perfection.. it is what He sees as perfect at this time.

I would hope that this would do nothing more than bring me to my knees with a heart of humility and a heart that desires to worship the Lord. Here is where I am left with more questions. How do my prayers really affect God? Am I really making a difference? Is prayer merely changing my perspective or it part of God's ultimate plan? Does He really want me to cast my anxieties on Him... is it really true that he cares for the sparrow that has fallen from the tree?

Are you tired of my question marks? These are questions I have asked myself years ago and felt I knew the answers too... yet God continues to challenge me and expose my pride. My head has been spinning for weeks thinking through of all this and I have been deeply affected by a few different books. In hopes of making a little more sense and stopping myself from babbling with a thousand questions... I want to quote them. The first is from, A Call to Spiritual Reformation" by D.A. Carson:

"Two truths that must be held together if we are to think biblically about rayer:
1. God is absolutely sovereign, but this sovereignty never functions to reduce human responsibility.
2. Human beings are responsible creatures- that is, the choose, they believe, they disobey, they respond, and there is moral significance in their choices; but human responsibility never functions in Scripture to diminish God's sovereign or to make God absolutely contingent." (page 148)

I'm tempted to quote the rest of the chapter :) -but I will leave it as a strong recommendation to read! Another quote out of Piper's, "Battling Unbelief:

"When something drops into your life that seems to threaten your future, remember this: The first shockwaves of the bomb are not sin. The real danger is yielding to them. Giving in. Putting up no spiritual fight. And the root of that surrender is unbelief- a failure to fight for faith in future grace. A failure to cherish all that God promises to be for us in Jesus.

Jesus shows us another way. Not painless, and not passive. Follow him. Find your trusted spiritual friends. Open your soul to them. Ask them to watch with you and pray. Pour out your soul to the Father. Rest in His sovereign wisdom. And fix your eyes on the joy set before you in the precious and magnificent promises of God." (page 130-131)

I am blessed by and have learned from friends who pray with me.

I feel that all I have written is jumbled and chaotic-- which would match up with how I feel. Yet I find a peace in feeling "lost" before the Lord. What a sweet thing it is to come before the thrown of God in prayer. How could a just, holy, supreme God actually want a relationship with us? Yet, He does... and I find my hope there. I put one foot in front of the other... tell God how lost I feel... and rest in His mercy and lovingkindness. I pray He is pleased with my little life.

Trip to the Coast

We had such a great time on the coast visiting family and celebrating my Grandma's 90th a few weekends ago. The boys rarely see the ocean and it makes me sooo happy when I see their sandy faces after a day there. Having grown up going to the beach I want them to have as many chances as possible to enjoy time there. Celebrating my still "very with it" grandma's 90th was so great... way to go Grandma!... and seeing family is always a blessing. A special congrats to my awesome sister Erin who just graduated with her Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology! I wanted to put up more pictures of the boys in the sprinklers b/c my sister and I were in tears from laughter at their attempts to eat the water. Hopefully the one will make her smile :) We are so blessed to have such a great and loving family! I was so thankful to have lunch with my old friend Jamie Hill on the way home too :)

happy moments

I love this picture. It was one of those moments where I said, "hey look up here" and this was what I got. Pretty good huh? Usually decent pictures require 20 minutes of me bribing them to pleeeease just pretend they love smiling for a camera. Slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. This picture just captures pure happiness on a spring evening with friends. Would you believe that the two in the middle were actually asked if they were twins at one point? nope, not a joke.

Life has been filled with some reality checks for our family lately... and for others around us. I'm thankful for the moments God gives us to look at pictures like these and remember His abundant blessings in our lives.

Spring Break

Having Tayven home for 12 days straight brought back some exciting energy to the dynamics of our house. We loved Spring Break! Celebrating Harper turning 2, a St Patty's day at the park, hanging with friends and Easter are a few of the things that have made this Spring so fun. We can't wait for summer!

The Ringbearers

Last weekend, Tayven, Daxon, and myself were able to be a part of a wedding for a close friend of ours, Lauren. It was fun to see old faces and reconnect... including some of the bridesmaids who were former students of mine. This was most definitely a busy day for 2 ring bearers and a bridesmaid, but an honor for us to help celebrate Lauren and Austin's special day. We were so sad to not have Josh and Harper with us this weekend, but still managed to enjoy ourselves. The boys were pretty excited to wear their tuxedos and "walk down the aisle" but it took a lot out of them (as you can tell from the 2nd picture below).


waiting...


Exhausted from perfecting his ring bearing skills


We love Lo Lo








Hanging with Ensley at the reception

A little late...

Grandpa, Nana, and Danielle came to visit and we exchanged Christmas gifts finally! It was a fun weekend for us all. It was perfect weather for a hike along the canyon too!

Overwhelmed With Love

I am truly overwhelmed with how much I love my boys! I'm looking out the window at them playing and feel blessed in a way I can't even describe. Earlier today, I did "preschool" with Dax and some of his friends. Since then, he's been walking around proudly with his little bag of 6 valentine's that were given to him. In the car ride home from picking up Tayven from Kindergarten, Tayven went through and read all of Dax's valentines to him, telling him who they were from. Then there's Harper who's up for whatever his crazy older brothers will let him do. A few minutes ago they were pouring cups of ice water on his head. Before you call CPS, note that Harper was laughing so hard, he could hardly breathe. Maybe that makes you want to dial it faster? Now they're riding in circles on bikes outside singing endless, cute, made-up songs. Another moment of cuteness that I want to hold on to forever. I suppose today is an extra "giddy" day for me as Tayven gets his cast off in an hour! Celebrate good times! We're having a family dinner celebration tonight. I think I'll be smiling all day. The other day Josh and I were reflecting on an awesome day of playing and hiking with our boys. I feel so blessed by these days in our lives. I love my boys and want to freeze these moments. I still see the look of amazement and wonder in Tayven's eyes when we tell him new things about life... as he holds on to our words as absolute truth. I know those days won't last and that it won't be long before he has a mind of his own. What a huge resposibility we have to instill truth in these boys while they are still actively listening! These days are precious, I don't want them to end. Most of all, I wan't to be found faithful to the Lord in how I use them. I know these little ones are a gift from God that are an opportunity to bring Him more glory with. I get emotional thinking of how much I want to hold them close, love them, and enjoy them... but as I take a step back and remember my purpose in this short life, I can only cling to God's grace and pray He is pleased.

Snow!

I know, I know, you can barely see the snow... but to us Auburn folk, this was a great day! Doesn't it make you want to come visit? on your way to Tahoe? C'mon, we've got plenty of room :) I'm hoping some snow will come when Dad, Angi and Danielle come to visit!

Dax loved the way snow felt on his belly and got lots of smiles outside the grocery store.



Playing in our front yard...

Anything to disguise their identity...

Aunt Erin (tia loca!) and Uncle David came to visit bearing gifts. The most supreme gift of all was definitely the horse costume. This treasure not only makes galloping noises when you lift your feet, but it makes 4 different horse "naaay" sounds depending on how you move your head. Yea, who wouldn't want that? Me and Josh even fight over it... but Harper was lucky enough to sport it in the picture above. We had such a great time with Erin and David!



Tayven had a "Soc Hop" at his school so we had to dress the boys in 50's attire. Are we creative with our costumes or what? Here are the boys flexing with their slicked back 50's hair right before we left.



The boys with the Vincent kids at the Soc Hop. It was a really fun night!

The holidays were hard...

This is a long one, but there is much to say... and there are some fun pictures at the end :)

This has been an interesting week to say the least. We've been anticipating our next baby, enjoying making plans, and even announced our "baby news" on our Christmas cards. I had no idea that this would all suddenly change. On Christmas Day, I miscarried and we lost our baby. It was an emotional, awful, and heart-breaking experience that was absolutely devastating for us. I was definitely not expecting this and felt very blindsided. I had past all the common miscarriage weeks as I was heading into my 2nd trimester. I was also growing, having nausea and preparing myself for a 4th. With complications several hours after the miscarriage, I ended up in the ER Christmas night from 10pm to 5am. What a night. The Lord softened me and broke me. I felt a peaceful sadness... with much weeping.

There was no incident to bring this on, and was merely a "genetic failure" as the doctors like to put it. I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse? I know that it was out of my control... yet that brings a new fear that I can't prevent this from happening again. I have to continue to learn that I am not in control of my life and that I can't have such an agenda in my head. We have so much to be thankful for... I hope to live more in the present and be grateful for all the blessings in my life. I can't remember the last time I have cried this much. Going through this without the Lord would feel so empty. It is a sweet thing to cling to a relationship with Him in a time like this. We have a peace and hope in His perfect plan for our lives. When I saw the tiny creation He had made, it absolutely crushed me and broke my heart... but in the midst of it all, I was amazed at the miracle of creation. I am awed by this verse now more than ever, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works and my soul knows it well" (Ps 139:14b)

It is so hard to write because it is all so fresh and vivid. I praise God for His grace and peace. I am thankful for family and friends who love us and encourage us. I have heard so many miscarriage stories and have found a new empathy for women who go though this and much worse situations. I pray for comfort and humility through this.

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." (Deut 33:27)

We are continuing to learn and be reminded of God's truth from the encouragement of others. I was reminded today that this is all for the glory of God. Even if I never see what "good" comes out of this in respect to my little life, I know with confidence that God is to be glorified. We are taking it one day at a time.

On another note... our life got even more "interesting" a few days later when Tayven was dancing around and fell. He cried, went into shock and couldn't walk. When we took him to get x-rays, they found a fracture and he was put in a cast yesterday afternoon. He was pretty pumped to pick out the color (light blue) and was giddy when he came home. When friends stop by, Tayven asks them to sign it. Everything is pretty cool in his world. Hmmmm.... but I'm guessing that will last for a day? Maybe two? I'm trying to anticipate the hard days and think of creative things to do with him. I am sad for him to go back to school and sit during recess. He is still very independent and still likes to do things himself. He tries to crawl everywhere- bathroom, to his bed, and even races his brothers. What have we learned? We've learned through this that dancing = wrong = consequences = broken legs. Naaah, he'll be dancing again happily in 4-6 weeks. We've also learned to find humor as Josh has him limp or crawl up to people when they come by to visit and say "God bless us everyone" in a Tiny Tim voice. Truthfully, we hope this spurs on much conversation in Tayven's life about God's plans verses Tayven's, sympathy for others, and opportunities to talk in general as his life has slowed down quite a bit! I know this month or two will be a time to look back on someday. For now, we'll take it slow.


A few fun pictures during Christmas time...



This was taken right before Tayven's Christmas performance at school


Waiting to go in to a bouncy house place. A taste of heaven for Dax and Harper



Christmas morning




Tayven's broken leg and awesome cast!